July 27, 2013 1 Comment
Early in July, the New York Times ran a feature by Dr. Jack Drescher in response to the Coy Mathis case in Colorado. We were disappointed by Dr. Drescher’s lack of understanding of the experiences of families with transgender children. His suggestions, that families are “encouraging” early transition, and that, once transitioned, children are discouraged from transitioning back to their birth roles was outrageous. In the six years that Trans-Youth Educaton & Support of Colorado (TYES) has been in existence, over 70 families have participated in our group in some fashion. Not once have we met a family that encouraged transition.
Our families spend a great deal of time learning about gender identity and expression. They meet other families and ask many questions. This is not an easy decision or a fad for any of them. They worry for their children and work hard to make life as easy as possible for them. Of many untold stories are the parents who give up their personal big dreams in support of their kids. For one family, it was the dream of watching their athletically gifted child from the stands of the Olympics. Instead, it became painfully clear that early transition was a life-saving necessity for their child.
I have not met a parent yet that would not feel great relief and joy, if their child came to them and said they needed to transition back to their birth gender. It would mean that their child would more likely be safe and face less discrimination. Families have come to our group with children who were uncertain of their gender identity. After interacting our transgender and gender creative children, some have realized that they are comfortable in their birth sex. One experimented with transition and then chose to return to his birth gender, though he was still gender nonconforming. Years later, these families have told us their children were comfortable in their experienced gender fluid identities and remained close to their families who supported them in their process.
Dr. Drescher needs to actually spend time with families of transgender children, rather than writing articles based on theory. He would find here some of the most amazing, intelligent, and loving families. Their love is stronger than their fear of the ignorance shown by these psychiatric stereotypes. Their love is unconditional, and I’m proud to call them my friends.
Transgender Youth Education & Support (TYES) is a Colorado-based group supporting children on the gender spectrum and their families. TYES is dedicated to helping parents support their gender-variant children, and to help families find the information, resources, and the understanding that they need. Our meetings offer parents a supportive forum to discuss the social, educational, and medical needs of their youth, and to explore the journey to acceptance and celebration of each child’s unique gender expression. Youth are provided the opportunity to engage in activities with their children across the gender spectrum and their siblings. In addition to group and individual support, we offer guest speakers and educational, mental health & medical resources.
TYES supports all families of gender variant youth, not just those who are transitioning or considering transition. TYES supports families anywhere in the state. If you would like to join us, please email us at TYES.firstname.lastname@example.org or call our support line at (720) 443-7708. Please know that we recognize that privacy is critical for our families and we work hard to protect the privacy of everyone in the group.